"Dear oh, you like this photo more because your eyes on the other photo one big one small right!"
No. I love them all. These photos are not just for showcase on facebook. They have shown the very moment, when you were in my arms, and how you brought out my smile, with all my worries and unhappiness of my life placed behind. With you in my arms, the fear of losing you gets stronger day by day. I have come to the point where I no longer know what life would be like without you. My mum just had a talk with me. "Son, what had happened to you? Look at yourself now, walking with almost a half dead body. You are already a working adult, for goodness sake. What happened to the times when you were laughing at how your friends stupidly committed to their girls? Letting it happen to you now? About time for you to remember that you actually still have parents right here. And if you are planning to take her as a future wife, my advice to you to take careful consideration about her background, for your own good. Are you good enough to gain the agreement of her parents? 我只有你这个儿子，make sure, that you don't have regrets."
And here i am now, the one whose life have always been envied by others , not knowing what had happen to me. Work, another screwed up part of my life. The strange thing when i think back to the time when i got my O's result. No dreams, no goals. After how my life was screwed up, all i knew that time was to struggle, as an only child, with my parents as my responsibility. I can't afford to choose a course which can't get me a job with just a diploma.
Turned out, Engineering course was quite tough for me, with all the stress i faced, trying to pass all the subjects, when i know balls about them. Choosing aerospace as my course for polytechnic, which my parents thought was "a course with good future prospects", now resulting with a job that i work for without passion everyday, struggling just for the sake of the digits to keep myself alive everyday. Being a only child isn't easy eh? Hahaa..
Back to the time my friends came to my house during CNY eve.
"Wa eh bro, how long no meet up le. What happen to Mr. no commitment?"
"I guess.. thats love."
I know that I'm not alone. Behind your smiles, the bad experiences from your past, the worries of your current family, and your future studies. All i know is, I want to give you my everything, for your happiness. And at the same time moving on so that i won't end up being a problem for my parents. Stopping is not an option for me. Not sure if I'm up to it, but its all I'm struggling for, with my very best, for now.
Because it means everything to me.
